one year

I have been trying to write this post for over a week and keep getting distracted and then when I do have a second, the thoughts in my head don't come out the right way when I type them.  Last weekend marks one year since the first time Jeff and I came out for Jeff's job interview.  I don't know why, but it hit me like a ton of bricks Sunday.  I was sitting in our short sacrament meeting and I realized we were sitting just a few pews in front of the first place we sat the weekend we came out and went to sacrament meeting hoping it would help us make a decision on where our lives would lead.  One year.  It feels like a few months.  The emotions of the whole decision and change still feel huge sometimes.  Making this move was probably one of the scariest and bravest things I have ever done.  It probably wouldn't have seemed quite so huge if it was just me and Jeff.  Hauling our three little girls and fearing whether or not we were doing the right thing for them was so terrifying because we knew once we moved, we couldn't take it back. And really, how do you know for sure you're going to be okay until you are there?  We were living in our "forever" home and knew that the financial hit we were taking to move would mean we would probably never be able to go back west for a long time.  I really felt that we had to rely solely on faith and that the feeling we felt when we prayed about everything, was the spirit telling us to go..even if it really did not fit with the "plan" we saw for our future.  When I think back to everything that happened to push us to make the move, I wonder how we even doubted what path we should take.  I still have moments of worry, even though so far I really do feel like we should be here.  I have learned so many lessons and so much about myself from this change.  Maybe that's why the one year mark has been so emotional.  It has been a roller coaster of ups and downs, especially the first 6 months or so.  We are looking forward to celebrating our one year mark of living here and are excited to see what the next year will bring!