fall festival

 We have been dying to go hike either Fall Creek Falls or Burgess Falls and we thought of going today.  Unfortunately Savanna has been dealing with some stomach issues for the last five or so days.  We are hoping it is a just a virus.  We knew it probably wouldn't be a good idea to go somewhere where we didn't have access to a bathroom when needed.  So we decided to just go to a fall festival in Charlotte, which is about 15 minutes from our house.  We met some friends for the parade and walked around the square for a little while before heading home for lunch.  Savanna was excited about getting the "twisty rolls" (tootsie rolls) from the street but didn't feel like eating them--definitely a sign that something is not right.  After lunch and naps we headed into Nashville to run a few errands, grab some dinner, and walk around.  It was a good day and pretty relaxing.  We are hoping to get hiking next weekend and the other thing we really want to do soon and take the Rhino out in the fall colors!

life lessons

I've had this nagging feeling that I need to write this post.  Maybe the girls will need to read it one day or maybe it's something that I will need to re-read at some point.  Or maybe there is no reason.  Either way, I can't get the feeling off my mind so I will do my best to put into words my feelings and emotions...something that doesn't come very easily to me.

When Jeff and I got married, I assumed he would finish his degree and find a job in Utah.  I don't think he really even tried to find something there now that I think back.  When he was offered the job in Wyoming and was so excited about it, I couldn't really imagine doing anything else because he was so excited about it.  Wyoming wasn't where I wanted to be, but it made him happy and he loved his job so I made the most of getting out of my comfort zone.  Of course I came to really enjoy living there and I guess I just figured once we had our house built and were settled and Jeff had a stable job, that was home.  I was comfortable.  I had good days and bad days.  I was starting to get a good group of friends.  I hated how hard it was to get good medical care and having to travel to do any kind of shopping or activity.  I loved the schools and our ward, our house, and our neighbors.  I was comfortable.  I was fine.

One year ago Jeff and I started talking seriously about making a big change.  It kind of came out of nowhere.  His job went from tolerable to miserable and he clearly was under a lot of stress.  When we first talked about the idea of finding something else it kind of seemed like a "well, this will probably never happen and we'll never have the guts to do anything because we are so comfortable and established here but it's sort of interesting/exciting to think about a change" kind of conversation.

Obviously things happened that made us really feel we needed to move and that pushed us forward to actually do it.  This time it wasn't a 2 hour drive from my comfortable place.  This time it was across the country and away from everything familiar.  At first it was kind of a whirlwind. There were so many emotions and there was so much to do and I didn't really have time to process any of it.  I was scared but I was excited for Jeff.  I felt good about the decision, but I was terrified.  I'm really not adventurous by nature and sometimes I just had to not think about what was coming.

Part of me expected that since we felt so strongly that it was the right
decision for our family everything would be easy.  You know, like we would find a house that was perfect and we would make friends right away and we would just know everything was fine.   If you follow our blog, you will know we didn't find a house.  The first week here kind of felt like vacation.  The second week everything finally hit.  It hit really hard.  I cried a lot.  I felt so out of place.  Everyone even talked different.  People were talking about "buggies" at the grocery store and I had no idea they were referring to a shopping cart.  I was in culture shock.  I didn't have my beautiful, comfortable home.  I didn't have anyone I really knew.  I didn't know why there were so many bugs and I didn't sleep for a week after I saw a cockroach.


All I could think about was what we had left behind.  What if we had made a huge mistake and ruined the future for our girls?  That was my biggest fear.  I would wake up thinking it was just a dream only to discover that it wasn't.  I had some really dark days. The girls would go down for their nap and I would start thinking about how the picture of our future was not what I thought it was and everything would start swirling around me so fast I could hardly breathe. I started having anxiety attacks on occasion.   I tried to be strong for the girls and not let them know I was having a hard time.  I felt what I can only describe as homesick.  I tried to hide how I felt from Jeff because I knew he would feel bad and think it was his fault I felt this way even though it was a decision we both had made.    I felt crippled to make decisions about the future and especially finding a more permanent place to call home.  There were good times too of course.  I would pray and pray and every time I did, I felt peace.  I would try to focus on how much happier Jeff was at work.  I enjoyed the weather, the scenery, and all the fun adventures we were having as a family.

Looking back at this transition period I realize how much closer this difficult time brought me to the Lord.  I needed Him more than I ever had.  Every time I prayed I felt peace that it would be okay and that we were led to make this change.  Maybe the change needed to happen to make me realize how much I needed the Lord in my life.  I know that I have been lifted and guided in ways that I never thought possible this last year.  I am so grateful for the lessons I have learned.  I am especially grateful to finally see and feel that we did in fact make the right decision and that so much good has and is coming from this huge change    I still have some hard days, and I still miss my house but I finally feel like this where we belong and not that we are "just here".  I finally feel at home and it's a really, really happy feeling.

nashville zoo

 Today was an exceptionally amazing day.  The kind of day I always want to remember with these three little girls.  First of all, the weather was amazing.  As in, absolutely the most beautiful kind of day that wasn't too hot or too cold.  We started the day by going for a nice run around the lake. Heidi is getting so good on her bike and loves to ride every chance she can.  Savanna pushed her Dora doll in the little stroller and looked so cute someone actually stopped their car to tell me how adorable she was.  Caimbree was just along for the ride and the ducks.  We got home and Jeff headed off to help with our ward service project for a few hours. The girls helped me clean the house, we ate lunch, the littles went down for a nap, and Heidi and I jumped on the trampoline until Jeff got home.  When he got home we woke up the littles and headed to the Nashville Zoo.  Have I mentioned how beautiful the weather was?  It was the perfect day to check out the zoo!

 All of the girls loved all of the animals and we really enjoyed just walking around in the beautiful scenery on an amazingly beautiful day with our little family. We bought a family pass so that we can come as often as we want to and I am sure the girls are going to want to go back a lot...Savanna was already begging to go back the second we got home.

 We tried to get a picture on a little bench but a certain two year old was too interested in the berries on the bush to be bothered with a picture. I always worry she is going to think we never took pictures of her, but for the record, I tried many, many times and may have even resorted to bribery when Caimbree started getting mad, but nothing would tear Savanna's attention from those berries!  Ha ha ha!  Gosh I love that little thing.

 The absolute coolest part of this particular zoo is that there are a few areas where they let you go directly in with the animals.  We went in with the kangaroos and the turtles today.  They got to pet the animals and the girls were fascinated when they saw a baby joey in the mother kangaroo's pouch.  Heidi said the kangaroos were really soft and we all loved watching them jump around.

We stayed at the zoo until closing and then headed home for dinner, baths, and bed.  Heidi even got to go on a special trip when we got home with her dad to buy something with the money the Tooth Fairy left.  All three girls went to bed very, very happy.  It really was a perfect day for so many reasons.  We are praying this weather holds and we have many more days just like this in the near future!

phone photos

 I had a couple of pictures on my phone I don't want to forget about.  Savanna and I made a bubble gum letter machine while Heidi was at school one day.  She was so proud of it and she is starting to know a few more letters every time we work on them.  I just love her face in this picture.  Savanna is really growing up and I fall more in love with her personality every single day. She has the kindest heart and I can always count on her to be the first one trying to make someone who is feeling sad happy.  She never walks past Caimbree without kissing her on the forehead.  Her whole face lights up at the smallest things like seeing two people riding on a motorcycle or smashing a crabapple on the ground.  She is so independent and loves to do things by herself but is a little scared of the dark and bedtime and asks for an extra hug and kiss every night.  I love her curly hair and her huge grin.  Making other people laugh is her goal in life.  I can't imagine life without my Zanny Zoo.  She has helped me see the joy in the little things in life.

The weather cooled down again this week, thankfully.  We hit the lake for a morning stroll yesterday.  Lately the girls want to match every single day. It's a little difficult because they don't have a ton of matching clothes and getting dressed can often take a little convincing and leads to tears from or both on occasion.  I have to admit seeing them matching does make my heart happy.  They were pretty adorable running around the path referring to each other as "twin".  I love it when they get along and I see the love they have for each other.  We are planning on giving them their own room when our house is built but I am not convinced they will actually want to separate when the time comes.

lost tooth

 Tuesday morning when Heidi woke up I realized she had a loose tooth.  What?!  I was expecting this to happen in another year.  I mean, she's is barely, barely 5!  Once she got over the initial shock she got pretty excited and spent a good majority of the day looking at it in the mirror, wiggling it with her tongue, and talking about the Tooth Fairy.

This morning (Friday) she came in my room when she woke up holding her tooth.  Crazy!!  She's excited for the Tooth Fairy to make an appearance tonight.  It seems like she was just growing these teeth and I can't believe they are already falling out.  A new adventure has officially started in our house...one more sign that they are growing faster than I can keep up!  Congratulations on your first lost tooth, Heidi Bug!

labor day weekend

 We had a pretty good weekend.  We finally found a commuter car for Jeff...hallelujah!  No more driving the truck 70 miles a day.  My dad was here and had fun helping us find the right one.  It's a 2005 Chevy Malibu and only had 87K miles, so fingers crossed it should give him quite a few years.  Jeff is very excited to give the truck a rest and I am excited we found something that I feel like he will be safe in.  In our price range we didn't find many that looked very reliable or safe so we were really blessed to find this one.

 The best part of our weekend was having my dad in town.  He flew in because my nephew, Thomas, was getting the priesthood.  He was at my brother's house and then we went and got him Thursday evening.  We spent Friday showing him our town, our land, and having a picnic and playing at the park.  The girls were really happy to have some time with grandpa.

Unfortunately the weather was miserable!!!  It had been so nice and then we got a nasty heat spell last week and it was pretty hot and extremely humid.

On Saturday we looked at cars (my dad's favorite thing to do).  We were happy to have my dad there to give us advice and his opinion.  We also went to the Tennessee State museum and it was really cool!  The girls were very interested in everything they saw.

 We were very happy to have grandpa along for one of our adventures.  We are hoping the cooler weather that is supposed to come this week will stay so we can do a bunch of the outdoor things on our list!

 Sunday was a wonderful day!  We went up early to my brother's church.  Thomas got the priesthood and it was a wonderful, spiritual experience for everyone.  He is such a great young man and wonderful example, friend, and cousin for my girls.  We love him so much and love being closer to cousins.  The girls had a great time playing with their cousins after church and didn't want to come home.

We got home and put the girls to bed.  Around 2 in the morning Caimbree woke up and was burning up a fever!  103!!  What in the world??  She showed no sign of being sick at all previous to this.  We finally got the fever down with Tylenol and Advil but a few hours after she woke up it spiked again.  Of course with it being a holiday the pediatrician was closed.  I tried every Urgent Care in town and they were all closed as well.  So frustrating.  Since we were able to keep the fever down with medicine every 4 hours, we decided not to take her to the ER but we are obviously hoping she can be seen early tomorrow morning and that she doesn't get worse tonight.  I hope we can get some answers and that no one else gets whatever she has.

Overall we had a great weekend and we are looking forward to cooler temperatures in the next few days!