oh savanna

The other day I was about ready to start the dishwasher and wondered why the soap dispenser was closed.  When I opened it, I found a little surprise...Savanna's earlier snack.  It made me laugh and I needed a good laugh.  What a funny little thing our Savanna girl is!  I can't wait until she starts talking so I can hear all the funny things I am sure she is thinking.

binky baby

Savanna is obsessed with her binkys.  I have only been letting her have them in her crib, but she seems to find them or convince her sister to get her one every time I turn around!  When she can't find one, she starts sucking her thumb or fingers--which I think is even worse!!  The other day she was playing with the doll that has a binky.  Before I knew it, she had the doll binky in her mouth!  It was so funny.  We are going to have to break the binky habit soon because I have a feeling she will be taking the her new little sister's binky out of her mouth constantly if we don't wean her off of them soon!  I just don't want her sucking her fingers or thumb...what dilemma.

a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad week

One of my favorite books of all time is Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day.  I have tried to stay positive this week, but it seems like one thing after another have been going on all week!

We started with Savanna puking Sunday after church.  Heidi didn't throw up until she was 2.5, talking,  and in a big girl bed, so the whole finding a child in a pile of vomit was a whole new, not so pleasant experience. I lucked out with Heidi being a little older for that joy of motherhood to start.

Naturally it is my month for preschool.  I had everything ready for the week but didn't think it was a good idea to expose everyone to whatever Savanna had.  I don't think anyone was very happy, but I think it would have been worse for everyone to end up with the flu.

Of course this was also the week of Jeff's outage.  So basically that meant that I was a single mom for the week. Savanna was quite a bit better by Monday, but wasn't eating much and had really bad diapers.  Same thing Tuesday, but I was feeling lucky Heidi hadn't started throwing up.  Just when I thought I was in the clear, Heidi started.  Yippee.  I knew this meant yet another long, long night.  Starting around Christmas, the headaches for me have become almost unbearable.  I have had a few times where I have gone 3-5 days without a headache, but other than that, I have had a tension headache every single day, which turns into migraine about 3 times a week.  It has been a major challenge.  The medications that have been prescribed sometimes work, but usually don't.  I have tried essential oils.  I started drinking more water.  I have cut out sugars.  My blood pressure is fine, if anything it's on the low side.  Being in a small area with two small kids and no one to help with the girls, I don't feel like I have the option for other treatment such as chiropractor or acupuncture.  I am pretty sure the reason they are so bad is lack of sleep.  Savanna has been sick a lot and teething and hasn't been sleeping well and has been waking up early everyday.  When I get a good night of sleep, I usually don't have a headache.  So anyway, my point is, I knew this week would result in little sleep for me and horrible headaches.  Of course I was right.

To add to my headaches I realized I had jury duty on Friday.  I called to see what my options were since I had sick kids.  They told me I could under no circumstance not be there or they would come and arrest me.  I thought that was ridiculous.  There was no way I was going to ask someone to come watch my sick kids. Naturally I started feeling sick on Thursday.  Thankfully it was mostly over by Friday morning for me and luckily Jeff's outage ended a day early and he was able to stay home with the girls.  I went to jury duty and wouldn't you know I was picked to be a juror?  I had a terrible headache and sat through the trial waiting for it to be over.

Then we found out my neighbors sold their house.  We knew they were going to move and have been so, so sad about it.  We are happy for them and their new adventure, but it is difficult for us.  This is the first time in 9.5 yrs of marriage that we have had decent neighbors.  We had hopes of a sweet family moving in, but from what we have heard from multiple people (it's a small town), it doesn't look like we will be quite so lucky.  We are hoping for the best.

The next day Jeff started throwing up.  Awesome.  Jeff's body and mind do not handle the stomach flu well.  It has been a horrible weekend to end a horrible week.  I have a horrible migraine, Savanna has not been at her best as those stubborn teeth slowly work their way down, and I am ready to call it a week.  I have been really battling depression (mostly I think because I am so.flipping.tired and living in constant pain is hard).  I had bad depression after both of the girls were born and I am terrified for how I will be after this baby is born.  Next week better be a little better or I might just have to move to Australia.

me and you make the greatest team

 Heidi and Savanna are so cute together.  Savanna is always at her very happiest when she feels like she is a part of whatever Heidi is doing.  Lately Heidi has wanted Savanna to be the nurse while she is the doctor.  They go in the food storage room and "make soup" together for a long time.  Heidi loves to build cootie bugs for Savanna to take apart.  It's so funny because Savanna tries to do everything Heidi does.  Whenever Heidi builds a lego creation or cootie bug she wants to save, she puts it up on the entertainment center.  Last night we were playing cootie bugs.  Savanna kept handing me parts to put
together.  Once she thought it was done, she toddled over to the entertainment center and tried to put it up.  It was so cute to watch her imitate Heidi.  The other night the girls were in the tub making ABC soup.  Heidi started singing, "Me and you make the greatest team!  Me and you make the greatest team!"  I hope they always remember what a great team they make together.

another little girl to love

Yesterday we found out we will soon be blessed with another little girl.  Since I am only 16 weeks I was a little skeptical.  I asked the ultrasound tech how sure she was and she said she is pretty much 100% sure.  I still have a few doubts because really, is it ever 100% with girls?  I mean, this ultrasound tech is awesome and she was right with Heidi and Savanna and my doctor said she has never, ever been wrong, but there's a first time for everything, right?  I decided I better document a few things about this new little one.

As I mentioned before, this time more than ever, we knew there was a little baby waiting to come to our home.  I didn't feel that strong about it with either Heidi or Savanna.  Maybe because we were totally, completely ready and wanted a baby both times in the worst way.  Both pregnancies were a little challenging because of the headaches, but Savanna's felt worse and the recovery after Savanna was absolutely horrendous.  I get stressed out easily, I have a really hard time asking for help, and having two has been a challenge...mostly because I really don't feel like I can give enough of myself to either of the girls.  Anyway, to make a long story short, although I always imagined having 3 kids, we thought about having just the two or at least waiting another year before talking about it.  I mean, how do people know when they are done?  Do you just know?  It's a weird thing to think about.  So I prayed and asked that I would know when our family was complete.  I told the Lord I didn't like being pregnant and I wanted to be a good mom to the kids I already had.  I basically told Him I was fine to be done and to let me know if that was okay.  Ha ha...because it my mind, I guess that's how it works.  In the middle of my prayer, I had this overwhelming, unbelievable feeling/thought pop into my mind.  The kind of thing that doesn't happen to people like me.  The kind of thing that people tell me happen to them and I think, "that's interesting, I wonder if that really happens because it has certainly never happened to me."  I hesitate to even write this for fear of judgement, but at the same time, I really don't want to forget.  Not only did I have this overwhelming feeling that there was another baby, but I saw this little girl standing there looking at me.  I know, it sounds nutty.  It kind of freaked me out and I didn't say anything to anybody, including Jeff.

A couple of weeks went by and out of nowhere Jeff and I started talking about our girls and how they cute and fun they are.  I asked Jeff if he thought we were done having kids and just assumed he would say, 'yes' because he has always said he was fine with two.  He said he thought there was another baby that was supposed to come to our family.  I asked him if we should wait a year and he said, "No, I really feel there is a baby that is supposed to come now."  Then Heidi started talking about the baby in heaven and well, I just couldn't doubt that we were supposed to have another.  Then we got pregnant super fast and I asked Jeff what he thought it was.  He told me it was a girl.  I told him he was saying that because he probably really wanted a boy so he was just trying to make sure he didn't get disappointed.  He told me that while we were out painting the shed, he looked over at the grass at Savanna playing and he had an overwhelming, undeniable feeling that there was another little girl waiting.  I hadn't told him about my experience...I was still in denial and felt weird even telling him about it.  

Even after all of this, I still thought we were going to have a boy.  I figured we would have a boy and then I would keep remembering what I felt and we would have a girl at some point.  I also thought it was going to be a boy just to prove I am crazy.  Now that we know it's a girl, I don't feel quite as crazy.  Jeff is really, really excited it's a girl and has always said he is fine with all girls...of course, I don't think he is thinking teenage years.  I know this little girl is supposed to come to our family now and I am seriously thrilled (I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE having girls), but I am a little sad about the possibility of not having a boy.  I had kind of gotten excited about having a little boy at home and I was excited for Jeff.  I know he says he only wants girls, but if he had a boy, I think he would be so happy.  I guess you never know, maybe one day I will tell the Lord I am done again and we'll have a boy...or another girl.  Who knows.  Either way, we are excited to see this little girl.  We know she is supposed to be a part of our family and know she will bring just as much joy as the other two little girls we love so much!

just being three

I can't believe I am lucky enough to call Heidi mine.  Seriously.  I love everything about my little pal and I love that I get to spend my days with her.  I am so glad it's my turn to teach preschool again because it has not been easy for me to have Heidi away from me for a few hours twice a week.  She's been fine with it, but I miss her so badly! I already cry thinking about kindergarten.  She is just fun to be around.  I love playing her little games and reading with her.  I love hearing what she had to say.  She helps me with everything from cleaning to folding laundry to cooking to helping with Savanna.  She also keeps me laughing all day long.  Today after preschool she wanted me to go get her sunglasses from the car.  I wasn't sure why she wanted them, but when I saw her reading to her sick patients I couldn't help but laugh.  I wish I could just freeze time...it's all going way too quickly.

the games we play

Tonight we were all playing around when I noticed a huge spider crawling on the ceiling.  We were trying to figure out how to get it down since we have a two story great room and the ceiling is 20 feet high.  The spider was quite large and while I wanted to watch and wait for it to go to the wall, Jeff was determined to get it right away.  The girls and I had fun watching him try to figure out the best way to reach the intruder.  I thought it was pretty entertaining when he got a ball and started throwing it at the ceiling.  The girls found it entertaining too.  The fun lasted a good 15 minutes.  Heidi was laughing as the spider kept changing directions to escape the pink ball headed its direction.  I was laughing watching Jeff's determination.  The spider lost the fight and was eventually squished by the ball and dropped to the ground.  Heidi decided this was so much fun, she should be the dad and Jeff should be the spider.  She chased him around the house with the ball until she finally squished him with the ball.  Then they would switch and she would be the spider.  I don't know why, but the whole thing was just so funny...from Jeff trying to get the actual spider with a ball to Heidi running around trying to squish her dad.  Thanks to the spider on the ceiling, we now have a new game to play.